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Millennial Dating is Low-key Scary

Updated: Dec 12, 2023

So, I did a thing. I made a dating profile on a popular app and boy was I unprepared for the influx of shenanigans that would flow my way over the next 24 hours.

Y‘all been lying.. this new age dating is a little scary and it’s not very fun. Now given it’s only been a day, but my anxiety is on 10, you hear me!? But let’s push through.. I haven’t engaged with men that aren’t family, family-friends or coworkers in a VERY long time… so I (read: my friends) thought it would be healthy if I took some time to meet new people. No one told me what to expect.. And I feel some sort of way about that. I’m still processing everything and trying to stick to my commitment to stay on the app for at least a month. I don’t know if I can do it. Here’s a quick recap of what has stood out thus far.

  • A man demanded that I “DATE” him. That was the title of the message “DATE ME!” This demand came after he sent 4-5 messages, none of which I responded to. Aggressive much??

  • Someone’s PawPaw with stark white hair, who I thought was a maw-maw at first glance, tried to say he was 32.. Even after marking retired as his employment status.

  • Another man sent a super respectful message, only to follow it with an inquiry as to my interest on becoming a paid dominatrix. According to him he’s a sub and he’s looking to pay someone to dominate him. I thanked him for the consideration and respectfully declined the offer.

  • Another elder sent me a 5000 word essay regarding his interest and how I may be the one. I couldn’t get past the 2nd paragraph.

  • Someone in prison took a page right out of a Dr. Seuss book and threw the most random words around. I initially thought it was a joke.

  • One of my little cousins found me.

I am still on there and I don’t have high hopes lol. I’ve been encouraged to join a high-end site such as The League, where membership rates range from $199/mo - $999/mo. Apparently they vet each member and require you to link your LinkedIn profile and validate career & education information. I’m not ready to invest on that level just yet. Hell, truth be told I’m not even sure if I’m ready to date after the last 24 hours. Someone could of told me the dating pool was this shady. Y’all pray for me. 😅

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